It's 3am in London....
me: hey I just met you
me: and this is crazy
me: but i've spent my whole entire life blogging about you and obsessing about you and thinking of cute names for our children
me: so love me
parents: in five years you won't even remember his last name
me: in five years it'll be my last name too
Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend" One Direction style.
Larry Stylinson: Dick, dick, dick in you. Thrusting to Elton John while I'm cumming on you.
Zayn: Hair, eyes, high notes on cue. DMing your girl while she eating fondue.
Liam: Cute, cute, cute on you. Watching Toy Story, making necklaces with glue.
Niall: Steak, Chicken, Pizza on me. Sitting on a boat, wanking on Australian TV.